By Carla Mendez-Ambris
YOU want the big wedding, the splendiferous colour scheme, an almost unlimited budget! The whole nine yards really.
Him! Hmmm. He wants to settle for may be one and a half yards! A small intimate affair, no special colours, less money on the wedding more on the honeymoon.
Question is where do you go from here?
Compromising for your wedding planning is great practice, as marriage itself is about communication and compromise. If you can learn to give and take at this point, it augers well for sacrifices down the road. Hope these helpful hints below work for you.
YOU want the big wedding, the splendiferous colour scheme, an almost unlimited budget! The whole nine yards really.
Him! Hmmm. He wants to settle for may be one and a half yards! A small intimate affair, no special colours, less money on the wedding more on the honeymoon.
Question is where do you go from here?
Compromising for your wedding planning is great practice, as marriage itself is about communication and compromise. If you can learn to give and take at this point, it augers well for sacrifices down the road. Hope these helpful hints below work for you.
Make A List
Make a list and discuss exactly what you both want for and in your wedding. Cover all bases – the budget, guest list, type of entertainment, alcoholic or non alcoholic bar, venue, colour scheme...just to name a few.
The Budget
This is the first thing you need to decide on. And just keep in mind that you do not want to start off your marriage in debt. Many couples take out loans to pay for their wedding and spend years to repay it; others empty their bank account. Remember in the first few years of marriage you may have lots of other expenses - perhaps a mortgage, new furniture, kids…
Start off with a realistic budget. Make a list of all the wedding elements and start contacting vendors to get an idea of how much each item cost, if you do not already know. That does not mean just taking the cheapest vendors you can find, but finding the ones that give you what you want at the most reasonable prices.
Not everything has to be a give and take though. In some cases, you can both get what you want. Depending on your budget you may be able to include what you both want in the wedding.
He wants a live singer to dedicate a special song for you; you want a tassa group to entertain guests all night long. Then why not have both, once your budget permits.
Cannot settle on the best engagement photo? Well use one for the Wedding Guests Signature Frame, and use the other in your programme or on the table as a part of your centrepiece or table numbers. Or ask the photographer to choose, he is the professional after all!
The Colour Scheme
Why not use both your favourite colours and pair them together. Colour schemes have evolved so much over the years; many non-traditional colours are becoming more and more popular. May be the decorator can add an accent colour to coordinate them a little better.
Control or Best Interest?
You think he is groomzilla? Many times the grooms are the ones in charge, keeping track of all details, colour swatches and handling every aspect of the wedding planning, except perhaps the bride’s wedding dress. In that case, consider that a blessing, as some other brides have the hassle of doing all the work alone and the groom just shows up on the morning of the wedding.
Your partner is simply showing an interest and is just as excited as you are about the big day.
Take advantage of this and split the wedding planning, let him handle some elements while you handle the others. If he is passionate about the type of entertainment he wants, let him deal with that aspect. If the décor is important to you, you can handle it.
Whatever is decided, make doubly sure conflicts are resolved amicably. Brides, while you can stand your ground, do not order around your future groom or make him feel his opinion is not valuable. Respect his wishes and do not make him feel as though he must give in to everything you say. And grooms remember that this day is one which your bride may have fantasized all her life, so try to give in to some of her requests, after all the bride is always the main focus at the wedding.
Make a list and discuss exactly what you both want for and in your wedding. Cover all bases – the budget, guest list, type of entertainment, alcoholic or non alcoholic bar, venue, colour scheme...just to name a few.
The Budget
This is the first thing you need to decide on. And just keep in mind that you do not want to start off your marriage in debt. Many couples take out loans to pay for their wedding and spend years to repay it; others empty their bank account. Remember in the first few years of marriage you may have lots of other expenses - perhaps a mortgage, new furniture, kids…
Start off with a realistic budget. Make a list of all the wedding elements and start contacting vendors to get an idea of how much each item cost, if you do not already know. That does not mean just taking the cheapest vendors you can find, but finding the ones that give you what you want at the most reasonable prices.
Not everything has to be a give and take though. In some cases, you can both get what you want. Depending on your budget you may be able to include what you both want in the wedding.
He wants a live singer to dedicate a special song for you; you want a tassa group to entertain guests all night long. Then why not have both, once your budget permits.
Cannot settle on the best engagement photo? Well use one for the Wedding Guests Signature Frame, and use the other in your programme or on the table as a part of your centrepiece or table numbers. Or ask the photographer to choose, he is the professional after all!
The Colour Scheme
Why not use both your favourite colours and pair them together. Colour schemes have evolved so much over the years; many non-traditional colours are becoming more and more popular. May be the decorator can add an accent colour to coordinate them a little better.
Control or Best Interest?
You think he is groomzilla? Many times the grooms are the ones in charge, keeping track of all details, colour swatches and handling every aspect of the wedding planning, except perhaps the bride’s wedding dress. In that case, consider that a blessing, as some other brides have the hassle of doing all the work alone and the groom just shows up on the morning of the wedding.
Your partner is simply showing an interest and is just as excited as you are about the big day.
Take advantage of this and split the wedding planning, let him handle some elements while you handle the others. If he is passionate about the type of entertainment he wants, let him deal with that aspect. If the décor is important to you, you can handle it.
Whatever is decided, make doubly sure conflicts are resolved amicably. Brides, while you can stand your ground, do not order around your future groom or make him feel his opinion is not valuable. Respect his wishes and do not make him feel as though he must give in to everything you say. And grooms remember that this day is one which your bride may have fantasized all her life, so try to give in to some of her requests, after all the bride is always the main focus at the wedding.
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